The Healing Season of Pottery by Yeon Somin

Author:Yeon Somin [Somin, Yeon and Richards, Clare]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Algonquin Books
Published: 2024-10-22T00:00:00+00:00

THE VASE HAD simply been an excuse, she realized now that she was there. Jungmin had needed to tell her mum that she’d seen Juran and her father.

“Umma, I actually saw Juran and her dad a while ago.”

Yunjae was taken aback. “How did that happen?”

“It was at the workshop. Her dad goes to the adult education class there. He sold his place in Seoul and moved over to Ilsan.”

“I wonder how he’s getting on…” Unsettled, Yunjae trailed off at the end of her sentence.

“He seemed to be doing well. I didn’t recognize him, and he didn’t recognize me either.”

“Guess a lot of time has passed.”

Yunjae was far away, as if she’d forgotten Jungmin was right there in front of her. Her daughter’s words had transported her to the past. For Jungmin, seeing her mother like that was like looking in a mirror, and it sent her hair on end. She resembled her father in appearance, but her expressions were much more like her mother’s, the person she’d grown up with.

After spending a while rummaging through her memories, Yunjae snapped back to reality. “Oh, do you know Juran’s married?”

Jungmin frowned. “How did you know that?”

“She stopped by once, a couple of years back, just before the wedding. Her husband’s a dentist, nice-looking and a decent man at that. I know you get sensitive at any mention of Juran, so I didn’t bring it up.”

Jungmin was hurt. Her mum had hidden it from her. Their conversations had always turned ugly whenever Juran came into the picture.

“How can we show our faces in front of Juran?”

“I didn’t go to see her, she was the one who came to see me. Looks like she wants to apologize to you. Said she’d done you wrong. I don’t know what she was referring to, but given you’ve seen her now, why not air out your old guilt and get it all off your chest?”

Jungmin was firm. “I don’t want to apologize just to ease my own guilt, and I don’t want to receive an apology like that either.”

“So you’re planning to carry that guilt with you your whole life?” Yunjae shuddered in frustration.

“How can I forget? How can I live like nothing happened? Someone needs to remember, it’s not as if Appa’s going to. It’s only right, Umma.”

“No one ever told us we did wrong. Jungmin-ah, it’s okay to let go. When you wear all those spikes like a hedgehog and keep everyone at a distance, in the end it’s only you who suffers.”

“I can’t let go of my guilt. I know.”

Jungmin had bound the memories of that day to a pillar in her heart, and had punished herself ever since. Cracking the whip on herself little by little was the only way to take the edge off her guilt. To lessen that pain, she had to inflict a pain even greater.

Yunjae’s voice clogged. “There must be things you want an apology for, and things you want to apologize for, too. Next time you see Juran, tell her what’s really on your mind.

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